Copa America 2011: More Ties, Titanic & Topless Define Lackluster Tournament

Welcome to Circo America: Might as well enjoy the sideshow, because what's on the field is pretty ugly.

We’re already one week into Copa America 2011, and the $1 billion juggernaut is feeling more like a traveling medicine show. The circus is going town to town in Argentina promising a magical elixir of star players and classic match-ups, only to have the fans leave the stadiums dazed, confused and seeing double. Of the seven matches contested so far in La Plata, Jujuy, Santa Fe and San Juan, 6 have been boring, 5 have been ties and 3 have been scoreless. Tournament favorites Argentina, Brazil and Uruguay all looked lifeless in their debuts and Nike’s much-hyped “A Batalha No Campo do Inimigo” feels more like “A Sesta No Campo dos Impotentes.”

Rain, record low temperatures and a near-loss to Bolivia greeted the Selección last Friday for the tournament opener in La Plata. Despite the poor performance and a 1-1 tie, fans of the Albiceleste rallied and packed the stadium in Santa Fe last night for the second match against Colombia. 90 minutes…0-0.  The outcome was so disappointing, one headline declared Coach Batista guided the Titanic directly into the iceberg.  A sportswriter at Clarin said the fallout was more personal, “In Santa Fe, the connection between the Seleccion and the fans was broken.”

And like any traveling sideshow, you can’t go town to town peddling your wares without some eye candy or visual distraction to keep the masses enthralled. Enter Larissa Riquelme. The Paraguayan “actress” and self-described novia of the World Cup resurfaced in Santa Fe (twenty pounds heavier) promising anyone who would listen to strip if Paraguay wins the Copa. Not to be outdone, two new “actresses” from Peru, Irina Grandez and Deysi Araujo, have been showing their support by flashing the HDTV cameras any chance they get. Just another day at Circo America 2011.  (Full coverage)